November 23, 2016

Feeling fragile?


"None of those other things makes a difference. Love is the strongest thing in the world, you know. Nothing can touch it. Nothing comes close. If we love each other we're safe from it all. Love is the biggest thing there is." -- David Guterson, Snow Falling on Cedars

Be it because of politics or the upcoming family gathering (or lack thereof) or your own personal demons, we all feel lost sometimes. Here are some quotes to help bring you back...




November 22, 2016

Literary puns


Well yes, they're horrible puns. But sometimes we all need a reason to crack a smile and these days are seeming darker than most. So with that caveat, have at it, Friends. Pre-emptive apologies.

Why is John Milton terrible to invite to game night? Because when he's around, there's a pair of dice lost.

What makes "Civil Disobedience" such a great essay? Thoreau editing.

What happened when Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar? It was tense.

How does Voltaire like his apples? Candied.

Why did the run-on sentence think it was pregnant? Its period was late.

When I was a kid, my teacher said, "Name two pronouns." I said, "Who, me?"

What was Socrates' favorite thing to mold? Play dough.

Why did Shakespeare write in pen? Because pencils confused him -- 2B or not 2B??

Honestly, everyone should just leave writing to the prose.

That Charlotte Brontë, she's a breath of fresh Eyre.

What do pregnant women and apostrophes have in common? They're prone to contractions.

What do writers eat for breakfast? Joyce Carol Oatmeal.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Cats have claws at the end of paws. Commas are a pause at the end of a clause.

Why are writers cold? Because they're always surrounded by drafts.

And finally, a shout-out to the Belle of Amherst:
Who was Emily Dickinson's favorite reindeer? Dasher.

November 20, 2016

Barnes & Noble fundraiser for the Jones


Print off the attached voucher and bring it with you to Barnes & Noble in Hadley on Sunday, December 4. A percentage of your purchases that day will be donated to the Jones.

The only catch: you MUST present the voucher in order for the money to be donated to the library.

OR, you can place an online order and enter the voucher code (12048773) upon checkout.

(Click on image to enlarge.)

Don't feel like printing this voucher out? Stop by the Jones and just pick up a copy!


November 19, 2016

Free Poetry For The Masses!


Joshua Beckman was born in New Haven, Connecticut. He is the author of nine books, including The Inside of an Apple, Take It, Shake, Your Time Has Come, and two collaborations with Matthew Rohrer: Nice Hat. Thanks. and Adventures While Preaching the Gospel of Beauty. He is an editor at Wave Books and has translated numerous works of poetry and prose, including Micrograms, by Jorge Carrera Andrade, 5 Meters of Poems (Ugly Duckling Presse, 2010) by Carlos Oquendo de Amat and Poker (Ugly Duckling Presse, 2008) by Tomaž Šalamun, which was a finalist for the PEN America Poetry in Translation Award. Most recently, he has co-edited Supplication: Selected Poems of John Wieners. He is also the recipient of numerous other awards, including a NYFA fellowship and a Pushcart Prize. He lives in Seattle and New York.
Jeffrey Yang is the author of the poetry collections Vanishing-Line and An Aquarium. He is the translator of Liu Xiaobo’s June Fourth Elegies, Su Shi’s East Slope, and Ahmatjan Osman's Uyghurland, the Farthest Exile, and the editor of Birds, Beasts, and Seas: Nature Poems from New Directions and Time of Grief: Mourning Poems. Yang works as an editor at New Directions Publishing and New York Review Books.

November 18, 2016

Books On The Subway


So we're country mice, not city mice and, as a result, we're a little late to the Books On The Subway game. But we think it's brilliant. Brilliant!

Makes us want to have a subway in Amherst 
just to leave books around stations.


November 17, 2016

A National Culture of Reading


In January 2018, the United Arab Emirates will institute a 5% VAT on goods in its country. But not on books. And not only that, the new measure also permits employees in the UAE to read during working hours.

Just 40 years ago the UAE had an illiteracy rate of almost 50% of the population. Today? Less than 1%.

The Friends think that's pretty cool.

Unity. Kindness. Peace. Booklist.


The Association for Library Service to Children (ALSC) has released a new booklist to share the message of creating unity, acting with kindness toward others, and promoting peace. Check it out.


November 16, 2016

“Absolutely. If it’s at all possible.”


You know that guy who won the Nobel Prize in Literature? Well, he'll go pick it up at the ceremony if he doesn't have anything else going on. Whatevs.


The Friends are willing to travel to Stockholm and accept it in his place. For the good of the cause.

November 15, 2016

November 14, 2016

Amazon and Barnes & Noble book reviews


A longtime literary agent's argument 


He may have a point 
but it doesn't make those reviews any less fun to read...

November 13, 2016

The Cost of Attending Hogwarts


The Candidate Who Lost (similar to The Boy Who Lived) had proposed free tuition for public institutions. Since that's no longer an option available to Americans, we propose attending another tuition-free institution instead: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 


Click here to find out how much you'd have to pay for your very own brass scales, Quidditch robes, and cauldron.

November 11, 2016

Pet names in literature


Stumped what to call your new fluffy bundle of love? 
The Friends have some literary suggestions!


November 10, 2016

Book-inspired yoga


Perhaps you are already familiar with Babar's Yoga for Elephants?


But did you know about Harry Potter yoga??


Does this mean it's called a Descendo Dog now?

November 9, 2016

It's getting to be hot beverage weather!


And the Friends want to make sure you've got something in which to put your tea, coffee, hot toddy, soup or pizza (hey, we don't judge). If you haven't already picked up a fashionable Friends mug:

to go with your delicious Friends tea:

put down your iPad right now and run to the Jones Library to acquire those coveted items. Because they're currently available but you know they're going to go fast.

However, perhaps you are a cutting-edge person who already owns the aforementioned collectors items?

The Friends have another set of mug suggestions for you: 8 Jane Austen mugs you will ardently fall in love with.


Because it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Friend in possession of a good tea must be in want of a mug.