December 2, 2016

"We're all mad here."

It's definitely getting chillier out. Need some tights to keep your legs warm? The Friends have you covered.

(rim shot.)

Literary tights. An idea whose time has come.

December 1, 2016

Bad Sex in Fiction Award

The Friends didn't know about this award but now we. Oh ho ho, now we do.

Literary Review has bestowed this award since 1993. "Organizers say the purpose of the prize is 'to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction.'"

This year's shortlist nominees can be found here

November 23, 2016

Feeling fragile?

"None of those other things makes a difference. Love is the strongest thing in the world, you know. Nothing can touch it. Nothing comes close. If we love each other we're safe from it all. Love is the biggest thing there is." -- David Guterson, Snow Falling on Cedars

Be it because of politics or the upcoming family gathering (or lack thereof) or your own personal demons, we all feel lost sometimes. Here are some quotes to help bring you back...

November 22, 2016

Literary puns

Well yes, they're horrible puns. But sometimes we all need a reason to crack a smile and these days are seeming darker than most. So with that caveat, have at it, Friends. Pre-emptive apologies.

Why is John Milton terrible to invite to game night? Because when he's around, there's a pair of dice lost.

What makes "Civil Disobedience" such a great essay? Thoreau editing.

What happened when Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar? It was tense.

How does Voltaire like his apples? Candied.

Why did the run-on sentence think it was pregnant? Its period was late.

When I was a kid, my teacher said, "Name two pronouns." I said, "Who, me?"

What was Socrates' favorite thing to mold? Play dough.

Why did Shakespeare write in pen? Because pencils confused him -- 2B or not 2B??

Honestly, everyone should just leave writing to the prose.

That Charlotte Brontë, she's a breath of fresh Eyre.

What do pregnant women and apostrophes have in common? They're prone to contractions.

What do writers eat for breakfast? Joyce Carol Oatmeal.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Cats have claws at the end of paws. Commas are a pause at the end of a clause.

Why are writers cold? Because they're always surrounded by drafts.

And finally, a shout-out to the Belle of Amherst:
Who was Emily Dickinson's favorite reindeer? Dasher.

November 20, 2016

Barnes & Noble fundraiser for the Jones

Print off the attached voucher and bring it with you to Barnes & Noble in Hadley on Sunday, December 4. A percentage of your purchases that day will be donated to the Jones.

The only catch: you MUST present the voucher in order for the money to be donated to the library.

OR, you can place an online order and enter the voucher code (12048773) upon checkout.

(Click on image to enlarge.)

Don't feel like printing this voucher out? Stop by the Jones and just pick up a copy!