First, on September 29, come discuss Nabokov's Lolita with UMass professor John Clayton.
Then, on October 20, join a discussion of The Archive Thief with UMass professor Aviva Ben-Ur.
Wrap it all up on December 1 with Valiant Gentlemen, something Humbert Humbert most definitely was not, by author (and hey! UMass professor!) Sabina Murray.
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Then? Give yourself an honorary B.A. in Literature from UMass because you basically just earned it, Friend.